Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

I’ve heard the line so many times that I’ve lost count, yet I’ve always wondered if there was any truth to it. Could it be that once you cheat, you’re stuck in that pattern of behavior and will always be a cheater? Curious people want to know!

We’ve all been in relationships that have flourished and nurtured our hearts. Yet, we’ve also had relationships where you’ve come to wonder if your partner was cheating. Some say that once you’ve cheated, you become accustomed to the excitement of being caught and keep doing it for the thrill. Others say that once you cheat, there is always hope that you will change. I have asked myself that question on many occasions yet have still to find the answer.

I believe that once you cheat in a relationship, there is hope of mending it but, there are repercussions to everything you do. I have a few acquaintances that do the contrary…One of my acquaintances has a habit of jumping into relationships as often as she changes underwear. She claims “It’s love”, each and every time, yet we all know otherwise. Then we come to find out that she cheated on her man because he ‘pissed’ her off. The worse part about it is that she doesn’t even realize how dysfunctional she is. I mean, common…every relationship she jumps into, she has already programmed herself to cheat if he doesn’t behave the way she wants him to. If that was the case for all of us, damn, there would be no ‘real’ commitments anywhere and the world would spiral around only sex (which is not a bad idea but let’s be realistic).

I believe the reason people become accustomed to cheating on one partner after the other is because they just ‘can’. The fact of actually just committing the crime of cheating and getting away with it entices you to want to do it again. I know it sounds awkward but it’s the truth. If you let your partner do as they please, then eventually the thrill of ‘being’ with someone else has a possibility of happening. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t necessarily mean that because your partner cheated on a previous relationship, that he/she will do it again. It all comes down to how much you trust your partner and is ‘communication’ a big part of your relationship.

The real question is ‘how do you get over’ your partners’ past infidelities:

Communication

If you know that your partner has cheated on a previous partner in the past, and you wonder if it might happen again – this is where you should be communicating with your partner. You must set ground rules to what you and your partner want. DO NOT be afraid to discuss this because it is crucial to the outcome of the relationship. If you discuss this head on, you won’t feel that cat stuck in your throat wondering if your partner is laying in bed with someone else.

Trust

Once you’ve entered into a relationship, the key factor to making things work (apart from communication) is TRUST. You have to believe that wheat your partner is saying is the truth. If not, you’re simply falling into a burning fire which will eventually evaporate – and POOF - there goes your relationship!

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I think if you cheat once, you might have the tendency of doing it again but in some cases, the person changes their views on life and decides to take the path for the greater good. It’s not because your partner has cheated on a previous relationship that he/she will do it again – yet, we will never get a definite answer to “once a cheater, always a cheater?”